For many of us, our first response to vulnerability and pain is not to lean into the discomfort and feel our way through but rather to make it go away. Addicts convince themselves that they can control their use. To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands. Mar 30, 2014 guided sleep meditation let go of anxiety, fear, have gratitude before sleep duration. Addiction is one of the nastiest diseases one can ever face and while you may have every intention of helping, you help can be furthering their harm. Letting go can be a rejuvenating practice that brings the mind and body into balance for clarity, peace, and heightened functioning. Being addicted to someone is a doubleedged sword that hurts you and your counterpart. Before reading i was skeptical and thought its just a book it cant really change my perspective on life. Before long, were all reacting to each other, and the problem escalates. Letting go provides a framework and a process for letting go of old negative emotions, such as guilt, anger, or fear, which frees up our energy, makes us much happier, and lets us evolve spiritually.
A n exciting, cuttingedge book that will inspire families to know and act from a place of courage and power allowing them to step outside the shadow of addiction, reclaim their lives, and effectively intervene with their loved ones. One mothers journey of letting go of her addict son. Valentines day comes and people post pictures from their night of love on facebook. Letting her go was the most painful and difficult thing i ever did, but i had no choice.
We do that by numbing and taking the edge off the pain with whatever provides the quickest relief. Recovering from addiction reflections of letting go. Addiction center treatment specialists are waiting for your call. Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. The last third of the book treats specifics and relies on experience with the previous two thirds of the book. No one could be more surprised than i at the journey this book has taken. Ive enjoyed other similar audio books about selfhealing. In spite of all this amazing, generous, rightinmyface support support that is so obvious it is practically blinding, i am still having a hell of a time letting go of this. Despite every attempt to get them the professional help they need to beat their substance abuse once and for all, you watch in horror as your loved one slides. It sounds like a contradiction to talk about peace and turbulence at the same time, but it is entirely possible.
No more letting go goodreads meet your next favorite book. Depending upon what youre letting go of, it can take moments or years. Friends and family of substance abusers language of letting go may 6 feeling good you are reading from the book the language of letting go feeling good make yourself feel good. To write this ebook, i interviewed life coaches, counselors, and grief coaches on letting go. Love is letting go of fear is self explanatory in the title. The conventional wisdom offered to an addicts loved ones has. Lisa marie bobby if youve been lingering too long on your feelings for an exflame, this book is for you. Love is letting go of fear has had an amazing journey since its first edition was printed in 1979. The oft cited words of alanon to detach with love and that the addict has to hit bottom are often taken out of the original context when dealing with addiction. No more letting go is a powerful, informative guide that provides comfort, hope, and practical advice to anyone affected by a family members addiction. Its our job to first make ourselves feel better and then make ourselves feel. Many of us have trouble letting go in our lives even though it can have profound impact on your life. He also coaches love addicts how to recover, heal, and break their addiction to relationships, online at.
Jason stephenson sleep meditation music 246,031 views 3. Apr 17, 2014 because the alternative, having a son with an addiction, is much too painful to accept. Dr hawkinss previous books focused on advanced states of awareness and enlightenment. In this revised and updated version of facing love addiction, bestselling author of facing codependence and internationally recognized dependence and addiction authority pia mellody unravels the intricate dynamics of unhealthy love relationships and shows us how to let go of toxic love. The author of the bestselling facing codependence unravels the intricate dynamics of toxic love relationships and shows us how to let go of toxic love. So honestly, letting go is not my strong suit, but ive gotten better over the years, and i bet you have to by now. Reviewed in the united states on december 12, 2014. If falling in love is the most wonderful feeling in the world, letting go of love is the most horrible feeling in the world. Thought for the day hazelden addiction treatment center. Letting go of your addicted loved one dream center. October language of letting go substance over form im learning that for a variety of reasons, ive spent much of my lifeon the substance of my relationships, rather than what they october 9 language of letting go selfdisclosure learning to gently reveal who we are is how we open ourselves up to love andin our relationships. But once we experience our spiritual awakening, as you did, we can begin to live in the here and now.
Jan 15, 2014 letting go describes a simple and effective means by which to let go of the obstacles to enlightenment and become free of negativity. Instead of drowning in regret, i faced the truth and noted the signs of my love addiction. For friends and family of a person dealing with alcohol or drug addiction, detachment can be a difficult concept to grasp. An excellent book whose main thrust is that families and loved ones should have a zero tolerance approach to alcoholism and addiction when it is poisoning an entire family unit. The book is equally useful for all dimensions of human life.
This book teaches you about mindfulness and putting yourself in others positions and seeing them as innocent. The most dangerous form of addiction in life is the one that includes people. Detaching with love control is a central issue in addiction. This book provides a mechanism for letting go of those blocks. But that doesnt change the fact that these relationships are toxic for a person in recovery.
She does receive your comments and deeply cares about what you have to say so please do leave a comment if you are compelled to do so. When youre letting go of someone you love, its not easy, nor pain free. Yes, i teach about romance, love, and relationship addiction because we only teach what we need to learn. Some of our best memories might have been with the people who hurt us the most. It leads to anxiety, depression, agitation, anger, and frustrationespecially when your source of addiction is not available. Jun 10, 2017 letting go is less about attempting to rid ourselves of memories from the past and more about finding comfort and peace in where we are now, even if this current place feels turbulent. Letting go and getting out of our sons wayso hard to do, and yet the first step to everyones recovery. Loving someone who suffers from addiction is one of the hardest things a human being can go through. The situations and emotions a person experiences while a loved one struggles with drugs or alcohol can be completely overwhelming. Guided sleep meditation let go of anxiety, fear, have gratitude before sleep duration. If love does overwhelm me i do not act out in addictive ways. The definitive book on letting go of unhealthy relationships.
In this revised and updated edition of facing love addiction, internationally recognized dependence and addiction authority pia mellody clearly outlines the debilitating toxic patterns played out by. We would pack in the new car and go for weekly visits on saturdays, go through the metal detectors and sit at an ice cold metal table while she would glare at us and count down the 90 minutes until we would leave. As much as melody would love to respond to all comments, this sometimes isnt feasible with her busy schedule. I can be attracted to someone without falling in love overnight, and i can fall in love without obsessing. No more letting go love first intervention for addiction. In spite of all this amazing, generous, rightinmyface support support that is so obvious it is practically blinding, i am still having a hell of a. Letting go is a guide to helping you remove the obstacles we all have that keep us from living a more conscious life, it is truly a life changing book. Because the alternative, having a son with an addiction, is much too painful to accept. Learning to let go of the things that are not serving you will free up energy and resources and you will begin to reap the benefits of a grateful, joyful life. Whatever youre personal struggle isgive this a try. Letting go of an ideal, thought, or experience is not some laissefaire, woowoo thing. The author goes and and on, chapter after chapter, about how great it is to let go.
Give one another of your bread, but eat not from the same loaf. During the many decades of the authors clinical psychiatric practice, the primary aim was to seek the most effective ways to relieve human suffering in. Bobby doesnt bring judgment, she offers some biological and psychological explanations for how the brain works for me, this was the real strength of the book. Calls will be forwarded to these treatment providers. Letting go, moving on audiobook by lucinda drayton. How to let go of the past and love yourself in sobriety. Because this is the first relationship i am ending knowing that i have one small problem. So, i will let you go and send blessings on you for writing. It has sold millions of copies, has been published in dozens of languages, and continues to be a classic after all these many years. Its hard to let go of people we love, even when the reason we love them is illegitimate or abusive in nature.
Nov 20, 2018 sometimes people we love do things we dont like or approve of. Sep 19, 2019 for friends and family of a person dealing with alcohol or drug addiction, detachment can be a difficult concept to grasp. And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Neither is letting go the same as moving on without doing the work or simply forgetting about an important life. However, he never gives you any techniques or directly applicable advice on how to actually let go. I read this book hoping to learn something more about helping my patients im a psychiatrist let go of the negative emotions that they hold on to. Sing and dance together, and be joyous, but let each one of you be. The premise of this book letting go of negative feelingsis a goodif not excellentpremise. Oct 24, 2017 in her book, the gifts of imperfection, researcher brene brown explains. The mechanism of surrender that dr hawkins describes can be done in the midst of everyday life. There is nothing worse than the physical pain of losing a love the pit in your stomach, the broken heart, the feelings of despair and hopelessness. To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
Letting go, moving on was written by a creative soul going through her own personal challenges. The authors voice is almost ethrealvery soothing and moving. Detachment has been the standard message of most addiction literature for the last twenty years. Here is the book description extracted from amazon. Letting go of bad influences from your past can often be one of the hardest parts of addiction recovery, but staying away from these people is important. When we get hooked into a power playan attempt to control or force others to do. Why love addiction deprives us of love and how to let it in. Letting go often takes work on our part and requires us to do some introspection about whats true and what were actually attached to. The book is not religious and can be used with any belief system. Breaking your addiction to an ex love lisa marie bobby. How to let go of the addict you love if your loved one is fighting a losing battle against drug and alcohol abuse, you can experience overwhelming feelings of heartbreak and hopelessness.
In every day life, letting go means looking realistically at whatever the situation, taking personal responsibility for what one is going to do to protect, or take care of oneself, and then doing it. A n exciting, cuttingedge book that will inspire families to know and act from a place of courage and power allowing them to step outside the shadow of addiction, reclaim their lives. In the context of the alanon program, detach with love is the idea that the family has to let go of their loved ones problem. Put yourself in a place that allows you to take care of yourself first, and if they need your help, they will know exactly where to go. The execution of this book, however, is a step short of complete failure. Meanwhile, we lonely love addicts make do with heartshaped chocolates purchased on sale one day too late.
Letting go is less about attempting to rid ourselves of memories from the past and more about finding comfort and peace in where we are now, even if this current place feels turbulent. Over the years, thousands of students had asked for a practical technique by which to remove the inner blocks to happiness, love, joy, success, health and, ultimately, enlightenment. Please feel free to leave a comment but do so knowing she will only be able to respond when she has some time away from writing. I have a new sense of freedom because i am letting go of the past. When were hooked into a reaction of anger, fear, guilt, or shame. During the many decades of the authors clinical psychiatric practice, the primary aim was to seek the most effective ways to relieve human suffering in all of its many forms. Letting go describes a simple and effective means by which to let go of the obstacles to enlightenment and become free of negativity. Hawkins describes can be done in the midst of everyday life. You are reading from the book the language of letting go moving forward much as we would like, we cannot bring everyone with us on this journey called language of letting go june 11 moving forward soberrecovery.
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